Polaris: Book Five of The Stardust Series Read online

  Unable to resist an opportunity to touch her, I wrapped my arms around her waist as she perused the food. “Are you having a good time?”

  Before I could swoop in for a kiss, she moved out of my arms, grabbing a cookie and taking a bite while she leaned against the marble countertop. “I am, although you still haven't told me what you want for graduation.”

  “I already have everything I want,” I said, knowing it was true.

  The loft, the cars, and the toys were nice, but they ultimately meant nothing. What mattered were the people I shared my life with—Knox, Liam, Chase, Jackson, and Haley, especially Haley. As long as she was in my life, nothing else mattered.

  3

  Peace Offering

  Haley

  It was still early when I slipped out of bed and padded to the living room. After lying awake most of the night, I was exhausted. Between Jess's surprise arrival and her exasperating behavior, I had absolutely no idea what to expect for the remainder of her stay. Separated by the miles between Santa Cruz and Vegas, it was easy enough to gloss over the fractured state of our friendship. But seeing her in person brought all my emotions to the surface—anger, hurt, sadness, and even regret.

  I sank into the leather couch, blanketing myself with my favorite faux fur throw. Nestled beneath the luxurious material, I couldn't help but relax now that Jess wasn't passed out on the other side of the bed, our bodies separated by only a foot or two. Fatigue overtook my conflicted emotions, and I fell into a deep sleep. Dressed as the Black Widow, with the guys as the Avengers, we hunted a villain named (rather lamely) Big Bad, who was threatening to destroy Cruz City with his penchant for mayhem. Knox led us down a dark alley, his blond hair blowing around his shoulders, a deep red cape fluttering behind him, and Thor’s hammer in hand. Despite the fear clutching my stomach, I stood tall, confident that as a team, we would vanquish our enemies with ease.

  Chase, a.k.a. Captain America, called my name. “Haley,” he said again, but when I felt his lips on my forehead, I realized I was no longer dreaming. His touch grounded me, anchoring me to reality.

  Slowly, I opened my eyes to find him kneeling by my side, but he'd traded the patriotic uniform for jeans and a Henley. Feeling disoriented from the bizarre dream and the overall lack of sleep, I shook my head. Maybe I needed to lay off the action movies and TV shows for a while. Still, I couldn’t deny that Chase would make a great superhero.

  “What time is it?”

  “Almost ten. Knox and Theo are running errands, and I'm going to visit Gran. I left breakfast in the kitchen for you and Jessica.” When I didn't move, Chase smoothed my hair away from my face, tucking it behind my ear. “Are you feeling okay?”

  “Just tired, but I'm sure breakfast will help. Thank you.”

  I pushed myself off the couch and stepped into his open arms, wishing I could stay there all day. Burying my face in his chest, I inhaled his cedar scent, reveling in the feel of his strong body wrapped around me. If five incredible men could accept the idea of sharing me, including one as sweet and traditional as Chase, why couldn't Jess?

  He released me, and I instantly missed the warmth of his body. “Have fun today.”

  Not likely, I thought, feeling defeated before the day had even begun. Between the upheaval of our lives in the wake of Jackson's injury and the ongoing investigation at Zenith, my problems with Jess had been pushed to the back burner . . . until now.

  With his finger, Chase lifted my chin to look me in the eye. “You sure you're okay?”

  “Absolutely.” I smiled, touching my lips to his for a brief kiss. “Tell Gran I said hi.”

  After he left, I opened the takeout bag, silently thanking Chase for ordering my favorite breakfast sandwich from The Buttery—scrambled eggs, bacon, and cheddar on a flaky croissant. Snatching my e-reader from the couch, I took a seat at the table and swiped it to open Jackson's latest recommendation. I wasn't usually into thrillers, but I was quickly becoming obsessed with Frederick Forsyth's riveting tale, The Day of the Jackal.

  It wasn't long before Jess emerged from my room, trudging toward the kitchen with her hair askew and makeup still on from last night. She filled a glass with water and took a few sips, then rested her forearms on the counter and bowed her head.

  “Morning,” she mumbled, clearly nursing a hangover.

  “Morning,” I ground out without looking up from my book. “There’s breakfast and a cappuccino for you on the counter.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Thank Chase. I had nothing to do with it.”

  Sliding into the seat across from me, she sipped her coffee and picked at her muffin while the tension between us grew to unbearable levels. All the while, I debated my next move, wondering if I should escape to the shower or preempt serious conversation by asking how she wanted to spend the day.

  “Haley, I'm sorry.” I stilled, glancing up from my e-reader as she sucked in a deep breath. “I should've told you I was coming. I wanted to see you, and I was afraid if I asked to visit, you'd make excuses why I shouldn't.”

  When I didn't protest, hurt flashed in her eyes, searing me with a sense of betrayal.

  “And, I'm sorry I drank so much last night and acted like an ass,” she continued, her expression contrite. “It was immature, but I was freaking out. It's obvious you don't want me here, and I feel like your friendship is slipping through my fingers.”

  Softened by her apology, and her confession, I felt some of my earlier tension dissipate. “I'm sorry, too. I could have been more welcoming. We've been friends for more than a decade, and I'm not going to throw away our relationship over one fight.”

  “I know. It just feels like everything is changing so fast, and I wish we could go back to the way things were when we talked about anything and everything,” she said wistfully.

  “So do I.”

  We'd always shared everything—from the latest TV show we were watching to our hopes and dreams—and I felt the loss keenly. But that didn't mean I could ignore the pain she'd inflicted. I understood she may not agree with my choices, but I needed her to at least respect that they were mine to make.

  “Okay, so, lay it on me,” she said before pausing to take a deep breath. “Because I'm sick of the silence. I'm tired of being afraid to so much as mention the guys for fear of alienating you further. I'd rather be the type of friend who tells it straight than one who hides behind half-truths.”

  “You don't think I'm tired of it? That it doesn't hurt to know my best friend thinks I've 'gone off the deep end'?” My eyes burned, but I refused to cry.

  “Admittedly, my language was harsh, but I was worried about you, am worried about you. Haley,” she pleaded, grabbing my hand, “you're like family to me, and I would never want to see anything bad happen to you. If I don't look out for you, who will?”

  “The guys. My dad,” I answered hurriedly.

  She cocked her head to the side, evaluating me before softening her expression. “No, Hales. The guys have their own agenda. As for your dad, he's always on the run. I'm positive he has no idea what's really going on here. And if he did, can you honestly tell me he would approve?”

  Intentionally misinterpreting her question, I said, “I don't think he'd approve of anyone I dated.”

  “While that may be true, try to evaluate the situation as an outsider. You got to know Knox, Theo, Chase, Jackson, and Liam while they all but held you captive.” I opened my mouth to protest but quickly shut it, knowing it was pointless to argue the technicalities. “Then, you found out they had a pact not to date you, and after you finally broke free, they somehow tracked you down in Portland and convinced you to return. Does none of that concern you?”

  When she put it that way, the guys sounded like kidnappers and stalkers, but I knew the truth. They weren't my captors; they were my protectors, my champions. Their attention had never been unwelcome.

  I'd left to keep the group intact, and they'd brought me home again to make them whole.

 
“You know how isolated my life has been. If anything, the guys set me free—free to enjoy life, to explore the world, to discover love.”

  “That's what concerns me,” she said in a soft tone. “I'm worried that you feel some warped sense of obligation to them, that you're confusing your feelings of gratitude for love.”

  Taken aback, I blurted, “How can you even suggest such a thing?”

  “My friend Simone is a psychology major, and she told me that sometimes, as a survival mechanism, kidnapping victims feign affection for their captors. The longer they play that role, the more they come to believe their feelings are real.” She fell silent, the weight of her statement heavy between us.

  I straightened, intending to put her inconceivable suggestion to rest for good. “Jess.” My voice was firm, and I waited until she maintained eye contact with me. “They would never, ever, do anything to hurt me. I love them. Not because I feel compelled to, or I’ve convinced myself that I do, but because they mean everything to me. If you really knew them, if you saw how they treat me, I think you’d understand.”

  She contemplated my statement, weighing her words. “I can appreciate that, and maybe if there was only one of them, I wouldn't be so hung up on it. But, five? It seems like some serious coercion.”

  “You've seen them, right? We're talking about the guys you once referred to as 'the sexy six pack,' minus Ethan.”

  She laughed. “Oh, I've seen them. And, I'll admit, I'm jealous.” I knew it! Not that I blamed her. I'd be jealous too, even if there was just one of them.

  “I can assure you, there's absolutely no pressure from them.”

  “Not even to have sex?”

  Completely unprepared for her question, my face heated and I focused my attention on the table, suddenly enthralled by the wood grain. I could feel her eyes watching me, assessing me. If there was any doubt in her mind as to whether I'd slept with one of them, my reaction was doing nothing to dispel it.

  “Shut up! You had sex?” And, she’s back—there’s the Jess I know and love.

  I nodded, finally lifting my head to look at her. “I did.”

  “Oooh, was it Theo? Or maybe . . . Chase?” Her eyes were alight with excitement, and it almost felt like old times. Almost.

  “My lips are sealed.”

  “Hales, I'm dying over here. At least tell me if it was good.”

  I bit back a smile, images of my first time with Knox flashing through my mind. His strong hands caressing my skin, lighting it on fire. The feel of his lips as he worshipped my body. The satisfaction of coming together, of getting as close as two people could possibly be. “It was fantastic.”

  “Damn. You're so freaking lucky. My first time was a disaster.”

  I laughed, remembering the absurd story. “I'm sorry.” At her glare, I hiccupped another laugh. “I know. It's not funny.”

  Needing to change topics before she could press me further, I asked, “What about you? You haven't mentioned anyone in a while.”

  “That’s because I haven’t met anyone in forever that I was interested in dating.” She relaxed into her chair, folding a leg beneath her as if settling in for gossip. “Theo's friend Logan is hot. But I was also drunk, and he was the only single guy at the party.”

  “About that . . .” Her eyes flashed to mine. “He's dating Kara.”

  She groaned, hiding her face in her hands. “Please tell me you're kidding.”

  “Their relationship is a secret because of work complications, but they plan to announce it soon.”

  “Now I feel like an even bigger jerk. Kara probably hates me.”

  “She doesn't hate you. I'm sure she just wishes she could get to know you better. Without you hitting on her boyfriend,” I added in jest.

  “Ho. Ho. Ho,” Theo's voice boomed down the hall.

  “The guys don't know about Kara and Logan,” I whispered. “So, please don't say anything.”

  She nodded as Knox and Theo shuffled into the living room, an enormous Douglas fir slung over their shoulders. Its scent permeated the air, instantly invoking memories of Christmas.

  Theo clapped his hands together once the tree was secure in its stand. “Who wants to help decorate?”

  Knox met my eyes from where he stood beside the tree, which outflanked him by several feet. Glancing between Jess and me, I knew he was assessing the situation, and I smiled to reassure him that all was well. She had apologized, I’d made my position clear, and while I knew she still had reservations, I hoped she'd come around to the idea with time.

  Chase arrived home not long after, and the five of us spent the afternoon decorating the loft, singing along to Christmas carols, and snacking on leftovers from the party. With the holidays on my mind, I was grateful to be surrounded by friends who I considered family. We weren't perfect, we may not always get it right, but at the end of the day, we were there for each other.

  “Will you get to see your dad for Christmas?” Jess asked later that night as she pulled back the covers and climbed into bed.

  “Probably not. Are you going home to see your mom after this?”

  “Yeah. It's our year to host, so our house is going to be filled to the brim with all my cousins and their sticky-fingered fiends. What are your plans?”

  “We'll probably spend Christmas Eve and Day at Patrick's.” I joined her, fluffing a pillow and stuffing it beneath my head. “I still don't have gifts for the guys, unfortunately.”

  “Wow, I don't envy you for that. Men are impossible to buy for.”

  “It’s even worse since I don't want to appear to favor one of them over the others.”

  “What about a group gift?”

  “I considered that, but what?”

  She stared at the ceiling, debating. It was a small gesture, but it meant a lot that Jess was willing to put aside her objections and help me with something that involved the guys. “When I was researching Santa Cruz, an ad popped up for zip lining.”

  I’d never been, but I could easily imagine the six of us zipping through the redwoods. “That's a great idea.”

  “That reminds me, stay here.” She hopped out of bed and rummaged in her tote, only to return moments later with a rectangular package in hand.

  “What's that?”

  “Just something small I wanted to give you.”

  I untied the ribbon and peeled back the tissue paper to reveal a silver frame with a picture of us. Covered in dirt, our arms draped over each other's shoulders, we couldn't have looked happier. Even though it had been years, it felt like yesterday, the memory of our “spa day” at the “mud bath” flooding my mind.

  “Aww, Lucky.” I dragged a finger over the image of Jess's golden retriever. “This means a lot to me. Thank you.”

  I set the frame on my nightstand, grateful to have a memento of my past, especially since my few childhood photographs had literally gone up in smoke. It was a poignant reminder of the people I'd lost in my life, and it made me even more determined to repair my friendship with Jess. We talked late into the night, reminiscing about Lucky and our adventures growing up in Coleville.

  The rest of her visit passed quickly, and by the time I dropped Jess off at the airport, I was almost sad to see her go.

  “I love you, Hales. And I'm always here for you.” Despite her cheerful demeanor, a look of sadness crossed over her face.

  “Love you too, Jess.”

  I watched as she passed through security, and it was only after she was out of sight that I breathed a sigh of relief. The past few days had been a whirlwind of activity and emotions, and I was ready to settle back into some sense of normalcy. I looked forward to sleeping in Knox's room, to cuddling with Chase on the couch, to doing whatever I wanted without feeling like I was under Jess's watchful eye.

  As much as I appreciated her concern, I had to follow my heart, and my heart led me to Knox, Theo, Chase, Liam, and Jackson. I wasn't sure she would ever fully support my relationships with the guys, and maybe that was okay. Jess would al
ways be important to me, but I was coming to realize that sometimes growing up meant growing apart.

  4

  Wonderwall

  Haley

  At the knock on my bedroom door, I shrugged on a robe and opened the door to find Chase on the other side.

  His eyes sparkled with excitement, and he smiled broadly, showing off his adorable dimple. “Hi. I wanted to check in with you before we leave for open mic night. How are you feeling?”

  I walked to my bed and plopped down. “Nervous.”

  Chase sat next to me. “I know you don’t like the attention, but you’re going to be great.”

  “You might be a little biased.”

  He shrugged. “So? This performance is for me anyway, right?” I liked that he said it so matter-of-factly. Hopefully, that meant he’d forgotten how upset he’d been when he walked in on me practicing for Theo. At least, until I’d admitted to doing it all for him . . . and told him I loved him.

  “It is. Are you sure you’re okay with the guys coming?”

  Originally, I’d planned on it just being the two of us, but he asked me a few days ago if the others could join in. I’d agreed without fully considering the implications. Not only would I be singing in front of Chase and a bunch of strangers, Liam, Knox, Jackson, and Theo would be there to witness my potential humiliation as well. I had a feeling Theo put Chase up to it, but I couldn’t really blame him. He regularly begged me to sing for him ever since first hearing those few lines of “A Spoonful of Sugar” in the elevator at Zenith.

  “I’m sure. Everyone is excited about it.”

  Excellent.